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To tell the truth, I rather expected to be told that some unfortunate young woman had found my uncle’s unwanted attentions so oppressive that she had succeeded in having him arrested. ‘Well, sir,’ said the policeman gravely, ‘I’m afraid I have some bad news. Your uncle is in hospital after a road accident. He’s in a very bad way. He’s asking for you, sir,’ he concluded, gesturing to the waiting police car. I hurriedly collected my coat and other essentials and asked my wife whether she wanted to accompany me. ‘I’d really rather not,’ she replied frostily. ‘Your Uncle Albert always gives me the creeps. I’m sorry he’s been hurt, but he’s always been a terrible old lech.’ This was a common and understandable female reaction to Uncle Albert. Though now approaching seventy, he had always had an eye — a bloodshot, leering eye — for what he called ‘young ladies’, by which he usually meant pneumatic women between, say, eighteen and twenty-four. His contempt for the social graces meant that. Nobody talks about it. No one gets divorced. Please ... reconsider ... I beg you!”“Nyet,” I answered as I walked out the door, half-regretting it due to what she just told me.Part of me would have loved to be with a girl who didn’t sweat my womanizing for a change. I still couldn’t put up with slapping, though. It was, as I told her, a dealbreaker. If I had slapped her, I would have been wrong, too. Who knew ... maybe in a year’s time or something, but maybe not.All that I knew was that I wouldn’t put up with that kind of bullshit. Not now. Not ever. It was a slippery slope. If I tolerated slapping, what would be next? Ever since my wife Jill kicked me out of the house, OUR house, I have been extremely committed to the idea of never permitting or condoning any kind of controlling, psycho, abusive, disrespectful, ungrateful, entitled, bitchy, or possessive behavior from a partner ever again.Notice that I said “wife,” not ex-wife. Yeah, she’s been fighting me on that divorce, which is.
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